"urgh!" - a short story - by layne harvey

one day (today) i woke up and got ready for work. as i was leaving the house, i realized i forgot to take the trash out, so i went into the garage to put the dogs in the kennel so i could bring the trashcan through from the backyard. apparently, the doggy door cover was put on at some point the day prior (yesterday). i remember closing the back garage door (it was open for some reason - we typically leave it closed) at some point the previous afternoon (yesterday), not realizing the cover was on, i guess. when i went in there on this fine day (today), i noticed a few piles of semi-runny dog crap. i noticed the doggy door cover was on, apologized to the dogs, removed the cover so they could go out, then got some paper towels and 409 and cleaned it up.


while i was cleaning that up, i glanced over and saw a few puddles of whizz a few feet away, so i cleaned those up. then, around the corner of a metal stool/chair painting project, i saw a pile of vomit, so i cleaned that up. i threw the bag of nasty in the trashcan, went inside to put the paper towels and 409 away, washed my hands, then went back out to take the trash to the road.


as i opened the garage door and started taking the trash to the road, i saw some more runny piles of dog crap around the corner between the garage door and some dressers that we have stored in the garage. so i went back in to get the paper towels and 409 and cleaned that up. i threw the bag in the trashcan.


i took the trashcan to the road, then went back up to get some cardboard to set out for the recycling dudes to pick up. as i was walking back up to the garage, i saw another pile of vomit right in the front corner of the garage. because the garage floor is a bit un-level in a few places, some of the putrid liquid from the vomit had separated and oozed behind a mirror that is leaning up against the wall, which is blocked in by several other pieces of furniture. i cleaned up as much of that as i could, then disposed of that in the trashcan by the road.


sweaty and disheveled, i washed my hands, then drove to work, where everything was also crazy and broken.


the end.